New Here? Dear Wendy is a relationship advice blog. You can read about me hereperuse the archives here and read popular posts. You can also follow along on Facebook and Instagram. Thanks for visiting! The problem with us is that there is a big income discrepancy — I make more ebough double his salary. He has had to work a second job off and on throughout our relationship but that also takes a toll on how much free time he has he works most weekends. To add to this, we are doing a mony distance relationship and so there are plane tickets that need to be bought whenever we want to see each other and of course I boyfrienx up flying there much more .
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According to her, listening to a water cooler conversation and realizing that she was the only one on her shift who had never been in her own home almost made her sick to her stomach. So their dual income is more like one and a possible sorry for the Spades reference. He readily contributes what he does make — all but hands over his paycheck every two weeks, truth be told — but he is comfortable with the two bedroom apartment life that they have. Her … not so much. He stays at home and does stuff around the house. If he would get off his [expletive] and make some REAL money everything would be all good. I mean honestly. She had to know that after six years into their relationship and 18 years on his job in the food service business … not minimum wage, but not far from it that he has every intention of drawing pension from that job. He was in his 30s when they started dating and had this job since he graduated. Log In. Keep it Clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually-oriented language. Don’t Threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated. Be Truthful. Don’t knowingly lie about anyone or anything. Be Nice. No racism, sexism or any sort of -ism that is degrading to another person. Be Proactive. Use the ‘Report’ link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts. Share with Us. We’d love to hear eyewitness accounts, the history behind an article. Toggle navigation. You must be logged in to react.
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Yes, we are imperfect creatures, yes, it is maybe a bit hypocritical, but it is human. So before I continue to spoil the question and the answer! And he grew up essentially on a hippie commune, so for him, this lifestyle has always been the norm and the expectation. And this of course intoxicated my college-self, and his indomitable spirit and joy for life are what keep me so in love with him. But this would mean that I would have to support my husband, more or less, and would have to cut out a lot of my financial plans. As an adult, I want a partner who is committed to the same things financially, and wants to be a high earner as well so that we could both share the responsibilites of our professional and personal lives. I know that with him I will have the sole, unerring pressure of being the breadwinner forever. But I love him, madly. What do I do? Hey Annie.
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My parents both worked and are now quite well-off. Believe me, they struggled in my childhood but now they’re reaping the benefits of successful careers.
I’ve been dating a great guy for a year now he’s 31 I’m 27but my mom keeps saying how he doesn’t make enough money. I We talk about getting married one day.
I’m really ambitious myself and think that our incomes together would be fine. That, and he’s such a great guy and treats me like a queen. He’s certainly not a slacker, just not as ambitious as. I just can’t get my mother off my back about this! Why can’t she see that he has to «make his way» the same way she and my dad did? How does she know what he makes, surely she didn’t ask him and if you told her you should know better as it is none of her business what he earns My mum didn’t want me to marry my husband for the same reason I did marry him and had 23 years of a blissfully happy marriage until something went wrong, he left one morning and never came home again 9 I divorced him as he was haing an affair the first thing my mum said was «I told you so» and she had waited 23 years to say it He’s not pulling down a huge salary, but he’s at least putting his own weight.
If you end up making more, who cares? I think you should tell your parents to butt. Your boyfriend makes enough to take care of himself, and if he likes his job then that’s awesome.
If you end up being the big earner and you have kids someday, maybe he’ll be a stay-at-home parent. More dads are nowadays. It’s your right and responsibility to arrange your life as you see fit My best advice is, the next time that she starts in on his lack of cash flow, either a if you’re on the phone, tell her that you’re hanging up now because you don’t want to hear it, or b if you’re in the same room, tell her that you’re walking away from this topic because you don’t want to hear it.
When she starts to object, tell her exactly this: «Mom, I love you. You have made your opinion known, and there is nothing more to say on the subject. From here on out, every time you bring it up, I’m [hanging up or walking away].
The subject is closed. Now, do you want more tea? You also have to grow a bit of a backbone, and be willing to follow through by walking out of the room, or hanging up.
This should work after the first or second time of follow. If it doesn’t work, then you should sincerely think about distancing yourself from mommy and daddy, because they will forever be thinking and saying that he’s not good enough for you — and no one wants.
I boyfriend not making enough money like the fact that you said he is not as ambitious as. Sounds kinda scary I know about lazy men I dated a lot in my days. I think that you should not be worrying about what your mom thinks though because you are the one that has to live with.
This is why you have to think about what is what on your. As I always say every bread has its butter so maybe you can live with his faults and that would concern your mother but know what? Its not her place on telling you to get another man with more money or dump this dude cause his pockets are too small she should have thought the same with her life.
She lived her life now its your turn. Good luck on your decisions. He’s not going to «make his way» — he’s 30, this about the end of the line for him unless he’s been doing something about switching careers. Tell her everything will work out and really, terr her to keep her nose out of.
It is not for your mother to decide what income is fit for him to make. I would not be telling her this information. There is more to life than money. You have to do what is right for you in this life. Tell your mother that you appreciate her advise but these decisions are yours to make and the money is not that big a deal to you. Making what he does has nothing to do with how ambitious he is.
I agree with Natalia. Your boyfriend needs to step up and be the man. Then, you go to work when the dr lets you. This is the problem with not using protection or our brains. Sorry, don’t mean to sound rude. You cannot live your life through your mothers ideals. It is YOUR life. It is very shallow to say that a man does not make enough money so therefore he is not good enough to date.
A mans worth goes far beyond his wallet. Does he make you feel like a princess?? Does he treat you with respect?? If you answer yes to these questions then he is a wealthy man. Remember money can only buy material things it cannot buy someones heart nor can it give them morals. Trending News.
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If you don’t have any debt you can make it work. Merike Lv 4. Jesus the Monstertruck. Show more answers 6. Still have questions?
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Not Making Enough Money
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Discussion and links of interest to childfree individuals. Childfree Subreddits Network Other childfree subreddits. Questions Subreddits Network For questions about parents or parenting to non non-parents. Support Subreddits Network Help, assistance and support subreddits. Use the filters to see or exclude posts from one category at a time, and «Show All» to return to the original feed. Cut these people from your life. They are the ones acting wrong, your cousin for being a disrespectful bitch and your aunt for acting like this is OK but you clapping back isnt. Do not associate with .
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